Stranger Danger! Is it?
by jungANARCHY
Summary: Internet Dating. Some may say it's the easy way out, it's a surprise; you'll never know who the other person actually is. Other say that it's the option for desperados and the rest find true love. How will it work out for our Hetalia characters? Rated M for the sexual content (no it's not smut...yet) and language.


**(Daphne)  
AN: My friends and I have recently been going on Omegle...and I think we're going on it too many times. Anyway, I wanted to write a new fic and my friends suggested that I should do one about Internet dating and all that shit (well, not shit). So...I did! But I'm not alone on this, my friends are contributing pieces of their own as well. The stories will probably be short, around 2-4 chapters for each pairing, but it depends.**

**AN2: Niels is Netherlands by the way.**

**AN3: I went to school in Japan, and the Student Government or Student Committee etc there are responsible for extracurricular activities, but they also help with school festivals and other events. But I have also attended school in Australia, i****n Australia, my school had a student council and they could hold events, programs or even create new clubs but it had to be approved by the principal. I also studied in the** Philippines and America so there might be some clashing of school systems. Hey, it's a fanfic, it's not real, everything is made up. 

**OK, on with the story.**

* * *

_Stranger: ok its ur turn_

_You: Just wait for a sec! :/ _

"Un momento, por favor!"

_You: Umm... I gotta go but i dont wanna end this chat yet..._

_Stranger typing... _

Oh man... I bet he's going to go offline. Really, bad timing mom, and dinner and... and ah! Why did I even try this?

"Because I told you to."

I lifted my head to look at my best friend, sitting in front of me with his own laptop on his lap. Right, 'cuz Gil told me to.

"Why did I even go along with it?"

"'Cuz I'm just persuasive and awesome like that."

"Maybe, yeah."

"...Or you're just stupid and gullible."

"Shut up, that's not it. I have a better answer, it's 'cuz I trust you."

"You probably shouldn't though...for your own sake."

I laughed and shook my head. "Yeah, probably."

Gilbert gave me a fairy punch on the arm. Fairy punch, he'd be so angry if I told him that his punch was weak...then probably give me a stronger blow on my face. I went back to my Omegle conversation and noticed that 'Stranger' had already replied. Good bye, interesting online friend.

_Stranger: sad to see you go but just so you know, you've piqued my interest _

What's that suppose to mean?

_You: Yea?_

_Stranger: Yeah, so here's my Kik Ekanmi9 _

Wait. What? And what the hell is Kik.

"Uh Gil?"

"Found someone hot?"

"No, I'm not using video."

"Shame, what is it?"

"What's kik?"

Gil stared at me for a second, like I was the wierdest wierdo wierding him out in the wierdest way possible. Holy shit, I was really hoping that there wouldn't be any red underlines.

"Things getting serious?"

"Huh?"

"Usually, whenever a 'stranger' asks you for their kik, it means they want to be more than what you guys are now."

"Oh...you still haven't explained what kik is though."

"It's like a texting app but free, pass me your laptop."

"...No."

"What?"

"No?"

"Dude! I thought you trusted me!"

I do! But earlier in my conversation, I accidentally said I was a girl.

...

Fuck, how do you _accidentally_ say you're a girl!

Okay, okay, I purposely said I was a girl, only because he was like:

_Stranger:_ hey 17 male

So I immediately thought that this guy would only be here to find a girl to flirt with! And I'm craving for some flirt!

...

That was weird as fuck but still, I might have forgotten to say that I'm a flaming high school homo who, y'know, is afraid to break out of the closet. The only people who do know are, of course, Francis and Gilbert. But that's okay, because I can trust them with that kind of stuff.

"Antonio c'mon on! It's not like you told him a lie and should he find out that lie, you're whole online relationship would fall apart."

That was unnervingly accurate.

"...But I did." I mouthed, but I probably only thought that because Gil was looking at me as if I mouthed: "Wabba el coosag hey hey", which I probably did. So I tried again.

"I...I said I was a girl."

"What?

...

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have told him. "Accidentally!"

"Fuck! You can't accidentally say you're a girl! How do you... I don't even..." Gilbert ran his fingers through his hair then looks up at me with a pretty disappointed look. "We've been through this Toni, you gotta start getting comfortable and accept your sexuality."

"It's not that easy..."

"So is everything else in this world."

That...That was deep. I mean, even before that, Gilbert's actually being serious. "So? It's not like a relationship will bloom from this."

"What if a relationship _does_ fucking bloom from this? I don't want you heart broken again."

"...just...let's go back to the Kik topic."

Gil clicked his tongue like he always does when he doesn't get his point across, and sighed but agreed with me. "Okay, pass me your phone, I'll download it. In the meantime think of a username."

Ugh, I hate thinking of usernames! They're either really lame or they're cool but someone else took it. Geez, why can't people get ideas from their own brain.

...

Okay, da fuck was that? That, that was a brain fart.

Um let's see... ToniFC? Oh man, that sounds really stupid! tomatoe-

"Bonjour mes amis."

I whipped my head to the source of the sound and sure enough I found the infamous Francis Bonnefoy. He was holding what looked like plates of spaghetti on both of his hands.

"Your mama didn't want you to skip dinner and seeing that you guys are doing some very important stuff, whatever it is you're doing, she told me to just bring you your dinner."

"Gracias!"

"Thanks and...Toni, it's finished downloading! Have you thought of a username yet?"

Fuck, no. ToniFC is unacceptable.

"Um no not yet...all the ones I think of is lame."

Everyone put on a serious thinking expression and looked up at the ceiling. I did as well, but I wasn't really thinking, I was just waiting for someone to speak up.

"What about 'hot little lapin'?"

Of course, Francis suggested that one.

"No!" I blurted out. I'm not going to call myself a hot little rabbit! That's just so... not me.

"Actually," Gilbert began, "that could be your username Antonio...or should I say Cecille Jane King?"

"Cecille Jane King?"

"Since you did _accidentally_ say you were a girl-"

"Wait...wait, wait, wait. Toni said he was a girl? To whom?"

Oh good, yeah now Gilbert _and_ Francis can mock me now and tell the whole world that the macho, Spanish Antonio Fernandez Carriedo said he was a girl. Great. Fucking amazing.

"Well," Gilbert jumped up to grab his plate of spaghetti from Francis and then started embarrassing me, "Toni was talking to someone on Omegle and he _accidentally_ said he was girl."

"Why do you have to keep emphasizing accidentally?!"

"For effect, anyway, you can't say anything about your username now."

Francis took a peek at my phone on Gilberts hand then gave me a wink. These bastards...Gilbert wouldn't...

"Sorry mon ami... I guess we should be calling you Cecille Jane now or hot little lapin."

"Gilbert!"

He better get ready for some face-bashing because this will not go unpunished!

"I'm going to spare you for now, only because this guy is waiting to talk to me."

_You: ok i'll add you :)_

_Stranger: I'll be waiting ;) _

"Okay Gil, his username is E-k-a-n-m-i nine."

Just wait...okay...added!"

_You: added!_

_Stranger: K hang on i'll send you a message _

"Toni look! He sent you a message!"

"Oh Gil! Let me reply!" I tried to snatch the phone off but because Gil is a friggin football player, he swiftly dodged to the side.

"Nah, _I'll_ reply."

"Gil!" I whined like little whiny bitch and then flashed Francis a desperate expression, "Francis, help me!"

Francis shrugged his shoulders and gave me a sly smile. Bastards.

Heh, I sound like little Lovi.

"I think I'd like to be the one replying as well...Gil pass me the phone when you're done." Francis chirped with a little suggestive wiggle of his brows.

"Don't worry, I will."

Guys! Aw, and I thought we were all friends!

_Ekanmi9: So...hotlittlelapin huh?_

_hotlittlelapin: yup! your hot little lapin_

_Ekanmi9: still innocent I see_

_hotlittlelapin: Oh, forget everything I said about being innocent on Omegle cuz baby I'm seriously a bad girl_

_Ekanimi9: I see then... is little lapin bad enough to send me pictures? _

"Oh shit! He wants pictures! Antonio you take care of this!"

"What no! You take care of it!"

Ha! Serves them right!

"Here, give it to me." Francis tapped on the screen with his nails before typing up a reply.

_hotlittlelapin: i'm bad enough to tease and just let you fantasize about my sexy body_

_Ekanmi9: or you could be a desperate ugly fat girl_

_hotlittlelapin: ...that just ruined the mood..._

_Ekanmi9: Good. Because you totally sound different and I like the girl from Omegle. _

"Seems like this person isn't into dirty talking. Here you go Antoine."

"Oh! Thanks!"

Ah, so I guess I'm really the only one who can reply. Woo! I got a guy! I got a guy! I got a gu- Wait. Fuck, Cecille got a guy. Cecille Jane King who is a **fifteen year old girl!** And is a **girl. **I'm getting sick of saying that.

I should ask if he's against bis or gays...

_hotlittlelapin: okay okay I won't be like a naughty girl now lol I was just trying to see how you would react_

_Ekanmi9: Ah, that's okay but why?_

_hotlittlelapin: Oh, um to see if you're into that kind of stuff_

_Ekanmi9: Well, sometimes_

_hotlittlelapin: Oh! :3_

_Ekanmi9: Not now tho_

_hotlittlelapin: By the way, my friends thought of the username. I was thinking about tomatoes and Spain_

_Ekanmi9: You come from spain?_

_hotlittlelapin: yes_

_Ekanmi9: Hot. I like foreign girls_

_hotlittlelapin: haha good to know ;)_

_hotlittlelapin: I wanted to ask you a question_

_Ekanmi9: i'll answer whatever_

_hotlittlelapin: what's your sexuality?_

_hotlittlelapin: you don't have to answer if you don't want to! _

Oh shit, why did I even bother to ask! Of course his straight! He's probably going to go offline now!

_Ekanmi9: no, it's okay. I'm actually bi _

Or not...That's...That's really good news.

_Ekanmi9: ...why?_

_hotlittlelapin: oh because i've dated guys who are homophobes but my brother is gay so I get offended as well._

_Ekanmi9: oh cool I guess, I might fall in love with him  
_

_Ekanmi9: what makes u think we're going to go out?_

_Ekanmi9: lol jks_

_hotlittlelapin: Remeber your still BI! And u dont even know what he looks like!_

_hotlittlelapin: remember*_

_hotlittlelapin: ah i dont really think so but_

_hotlittlelapin: i dunno..._

_Ekanmi: how old is he?_

_hotlittlelapin: 17_

_Ekanmi: Ah, Im into people who are younger than me_

_hotlittlelapin: why?_

_Ekanmi: gives me a sense of authority_

_hotlittlelapin: just kinky that way? ;)_

_Ekanmi9: haha yeah_

_Ekanmi9: look I gotta go sry dont wanna be late for school tomorrow_

_hotlittlelapin: Aww D:_

_Ekanmi9: same here... i'll talk to you tomorrow_

_hotlittlelapin: promise?_

_Ekanmi9: making a promise to a stranger? Sure._

_hotlittlelapin: haha, bye then! I'll be waiting for a good morning txt then!_

_Ekanmi9: Up to that level already? haha lol_

_Ekanmi9: night sweet_

_hotlittlelapin: good night _

"Well, he logged out."

"What do you mean? He ditched you?"

"What? No, he had to go...well, I'm going to sleep." I yawned and shoved my plate of spaghetti onto Francis hand. I seriously needed to force my plate onto him because he was swatting my hands away like, 'No bitch! I made majestic pasta that deserves to be eaten!'

"Me too."

"Pourqoi? I made this spaghetti super nice for you two!"

"Sorry Francis, I'm just tired."

I tucked myself under my covers, slid my phone under my pillow then I slowly drifted of to sleep...that always seems to be the description every time someone is off to sleep.

...

I imagined of different things in my head, even some events that I wish would happen to me before I grew tired and fell asleep.

Or, this is what Gil does, I guess anyway because he told me.

I jerked off to a girl letting me fuck her face, I immediately became tired after my climax high started to simmer down, then I fell asleep...with my hand still in my boxers.

:::

I zipped up my bag and called after Francis who, by the way is taking too long to use the bathroom.

"Francis! You better not be jerking off in there! I just cleaned the tiles three days ago!"

I swear he better not make mess on those recently waxed tiles because I put my blood, sweat and tears in cleaning those tiny little spaces in between them. And my mum made me clean with my old toothbrush! I'm no cinderella!

"Don't worry I'm only doing my hair!" Francis shouted from the other side.

Hair?

Oh my... He's like a fucking girl!

"C'mooon! We're going to miss the bus! And Rylie does her warm ups at the field early! I don't wanna miss that!"

"Gil, you're such a pervert."

"Raging teen hormones baby," Gilbert plopped down on my bed, assuming Francis isn't going to come out of the bathroom any sooner, I joined him. ",so how'd your little chat go last night?"

"He said he'd give me a good morning text but I guess he forgot..."

"Or different time zones?"

"Yeah! But wait, he said good night though, so I guess it should be morning wherever he's at." I better ask him where he lives next time we chat to each other.

"I don- Hey! Princess is finally done fixing up her hair!"

I swear, I heard a choir sing 'hallelujah' once I saw Francis step out of my bathroom.

"So what do you guys think?" Francis twirled around and gave his hair a very dramatic flick.

And I probably shouldn't have said what I said.

"...It looks...neutral."

I think even Gilbert was about to shit his pants when Francis rushed over to me like fucking bull!

"Neutral? I spent thirty minutes in your bathroom and all I get is neutral?!"

"Ha..haha..ha," Well that sounded very forced ",what Toni means is that, it looks flawlessly put together without it looking like you tried too hard!"

...Wow. Nice save Gilbert.

"Oh...Good! Well then, let's get going." Francis strutted his way down stairs. Yes, strutted fit him.

"Toni! What the hell were you thinking!"

"What? I was saying the truth!"

"Never. Ever. Like, ever say that Francis looks normal or the same! Because he always expects compliments after he takes centuries of doing his hair or picking his clothes." Gilbert was firmly gripping my collar and was looking at me with a dead serious look. "Got it?"

"I know that! I just forget sometimes."

"Well, remember this, hell hath no fury like a Francis Bonnefoy scorned."

:::

Francis and I were sitting at the grandstands and guess what _fasc__inating_ thing we were doing, that's right, watching Rylie do her warm-ups. It was all Gilbert's idea to watch as this apparently "blindingly stunning" female did her squats and other weird stretches that just seemed so exciting to Gilbert.

Why am I even here, wasting important seconds of my life watching a girl, who by the way I don't even know! All I know is that her name is Rylie. And she's a girl. And blonde. That's it! And I'm gay! _Gaaay!_ I have no interest in these boobed creatures.

Well I did _before_, but not now.

"Gilbert, can we go now? This is _boooooring!_" I groaned and took a sip of my blue Gatorade. I can already feel the energy! Aaaand yet, that energy is being harnessed and wasted as I continue to sit here and watch _the amazing Rylie! _Ooh! That squat gave me a perfect view of her smack-able ass! So turned on right now. Totally.

Sarcasm. Level: **LIKE A BOSS.**

"Toni's right Gil, I have more important things I should be attending to than _this_."

"Oh come on guys! Isn't she just the hottest?"

"No." Both Francis and I said, in a very disinterested tone I might add.

"You guys are no fun. Y'know you could just leave."

"...He's right! Let's go Francis!"

"Wait! I was just joking! If you leave me here now, I'll just look like a big, desperate perv!"

"...So what have you been for the last seventeen years of your existence?" Francis joked and I must admit that that particular comeback cracked me up! We both laughed and we didn't stop even when Gilbert decided to storm off. We were just laughing there at the grandstands and smacked our knees like we just heard the funniest thing ever.

Because we did.

"Ahahaha.. ..We should probably apologise, he seemed pretty pissed." Francis said.

"Later, I think Mrs. Jules can practically _smell _my tardiness."

"Okay, okay but it's agreed that we apologise, oui?"

"Yes, it's agreed. I'll see you and Gilbert at lunch."

:::

"Ah, late again Mr. Carriedo? I believe this is the hundredth time, hm?"

More like fourth.

"I'm very sorry miss, I'll do my best to be punctual next time."

"I hope so and let me hear it, your excuse."

Shit. Okay, c'mon brain don't fail me now. Good excuses. Good excuses. Good excuses...

"I ran out of gel this morning, so I had to go out and buy some more, then I spent thirty minutes in the bathroom styling my hair." And with a sweet smile to top it off.

Mrs. Jules glared at me for a moment, probably contemplating what punishment I should receive.

"Three hours of detention."

What? Shit no!

"Oh c'mon Katrina! You're a girl! You should be relatin' to this hair stuff!" I just called my teacher by her first name... That is so badass of me! "And I've only been late _four _times! My goodness, who made you a maths teacher?"

But that last part is more of... dumbass.

"After class, I will personally escort you to the principal's office! Take your seat Mr. Carriedo!"

Fuuuurrrrck...fine.

I sat down, and let out a heavy sigh. Some of the students were staring at me but I ignored them. 'Cuz hater just be haters. And just as I thought things couldn't get any worse, guess what, they did.

"Late again Antonio? Well that's what you stupid Spaniards get because of all your siestas."

Oh c'mon, not today!

"And stressing about hair, what are you a girl?"

Why the fuck today?

"Oh, wait, I forgot you _are_ a girl."

Why me?

"What? You think you're all high and mighty and just ignore me?"

Just shup up!

"Hey Antonio, why don't you just get your Spanish ass out of here and go see The Notebook already, huh?"

I already saw that movie asshat and it was surprisingly touching even if the plotline was a little bit overrated. But I fucking _cried_ because it was so damn beautiful.

That doesn't make me any less of a man though.

But I am gay...

...

"Shut up, pothead." I finally decided to reply.

"I see you've remembered how to speak again. It was probably a tough job on your brain you stupid dipshit."

"Just shut the fuck up. Do you want us to get in trouble?"

"As long as _you_ get in trouble, I'm alright."

I was about to reply with a clever comeback, when Mrs. I fucking hate Carriedo Jules decided to interrupt.

"Antonio, I change my mind, you can go to the principal's office right now! _With_ Niels!"

:::

"Nice going asshat, you got us both in trouble." Niels and I were walking along the school, heading towards the principal's office.

"You obviously weren't listening to me before."

"I didn't want to." We were right in front of the principal's door now, but I stopped and turned to look at the Dutch teen. "All I want to know is, why me? There's tons of nerds and losers out there, why me?"

"Why _not_ you? Now, shut up and open the door so we can get this done and over with."

I sighed and turned the knob.

"Niels? Antonio? What seems to be the problem?"

"Well, let me explain," Great, I'm excited to see just how Niels will turn the tables on me. ",firstly, Antonio mocked Mrs. Jules and said that she was too dumb to be a maths teacher then I called him stupid and a girl while he called me a pothead. End of story."

Admittedly, that was a pretty general explanation, though I'm surprised there was no exaggeration on my side.

"Do you have anything to add Antonio?"

"...Oh! Um, no! N-none at all."

"Well then, both of you boys can organise the School Festival for next week as your punishment. Only you two."

Are you just seriously asking me to _collaborate _with the guy that I hate the most on the entire face of the Earth? Are you seriously asking me to do something so beyond impossible, and expect it to end in rainbows and sunshines? Is that what you're asking me to do?

"Are you two okay with that?"

"I am, I don't know if Antonio is."

Fuck, no. I'm not okay with it. But nevertheless, I gritted out through my teeth, "I'm happy to help."

:::

"See what your stupid Spanish ass did?"

"Me? You started all that name calling! And why the heck are you so obsessed with my Spanish ass, huh?"

Niels seemed to jump from my last statement. Haha, so he_ is_ obsessed with my Spanish butt, well who can resist the perfection that is my ass?

"Shut up! Like, I would be looking at your ass. It's as saggy as fuck."

"How dare you! I have a tight ass!"

"...I don't want to talk about your ass."

"Like hell you don't."

Niels glared at me before pushing me hard to the side, and crash onto the lockers.

"You better figure out how we're going to do this shit."

We stayed like that for a couple of seconds, with Niels millimetres away from my face and his hands tightly around my collar. I actually don't mind this. This is the first time I've been this close to another male who isn't Gilbert and Francis.

That's my gay side talking. I still hate his guts.

He blew on my face and walked away.

Yep, I hate him.

Aw yeah, just leave me alone here? Nice one.

"We still have detention Niels!" I shouted after him but it was useless, he didn't pay me any attention and continued to walk away.

Could things get any worse? Fuck, wait... I shouldn't say that, because the universe will just screw with you when you say things like that.

:::

"Woah, you two look like you're in a bad mood." The Frenchman asked as he sat down next to me. "What's wrong with you Toni?"

"...I have to organise next week's School Festival."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I have to organise it with Niels."

"Well, you don't have to hang around with him, Roderich's in the student council as well."

"Ugghh...I'm saying that it'll only be me and Niels! Just the two of us! No student council! No nothing!"

What am I going to do? I'm more so worried on how I'm going to pull this school festival shit in _one_ week! And with some dumbass partner who hates me more than anything, succeeding is next to impossible.

I buried my face in my hand, looking as stressed as fuck. Then Francis started nudging my side so I looked up at with a groan. What? Can't you see I'm having a serious thinking moment here? It's a very rare occasion so don't interrupt.

He looked toward Gilbert then back at me. Oh right, apology time.

"Gil," The German boy glanced up at us with an expression that said, 'Finally, took you long enough to realise that I'm feeling like shit.' ",Francis and I are sorry about calling you a big, desperate perv. Please forgive us."

Gil only stared at us with an unsatisfied look. He sighed and said, "I'll forgive you if you buy me lunch."

:::

"Good luck with your detention Toni!"

"Two hours with that asshat, you'll need it!"

Gilbert and Francis flashed me sympathetic looks then left the school cafeteria, on their way home. They're so lucky. They get to play COD Ghosts while I'm stuck here just wanting to headshot Niels and turn him into a ghost. See what I did there?

Mrs. Jules called after me and gestured to the garbage bins. Niels already started to clean some of the mess on the floor, and I get the lucky job of emptying out all the garbage bins. Might I add that the _big_ trash bin, the one where all the other shit bags go, is about three-hundred metres away from the cafeteria!

I'm going to have some gorgeous calves after this.

Why the fuck do they call them calves? It's not like you have two mini cows attached to your legs.

...

I'm going to have some gorgeous mini cows attached to my legs after this.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

"OK boys, I'll be in the staffroom just across the hall. Behave."

Yeah, yeah, just leave already.

:::

After an hour, Niels and I finally got the place clean and shiny. Yep, we made it clean and shiny for nothing because tomorrow, rowdy teenagers will make a mess of it again. Oh fortunate coincidence, the Highschool Cliche Experience Program is holding the monthly food fight tomorrow, neat huh? Fucking bullshit. Basically, HCEP is a program by the student council, which gives students the chance to live the 'movie highschool' experience. What I'm trying to say is, that they make you feel like you're in highschool, **MOVIE STYLE.** With the food fights, mean cheerleaders, cliques, new girl, the popular jock, everything is always dramatic and blah blah blah blah.

Seriously, high school is not what you'd expect it to be. It's not all about being in the cliques, finding the love of your life or getting pregnant at the age of sixteen. Hell naw, it's not like that. I'm saying that and I'm only seventeen!

High school is hard work, lack of sleep, and getting ready for _reality_. But let me tell you, high school is also very, very, _very_ **awkward.** Especially freshmen year. Freshmen year is awkward.

Ugh, this is giving me headache.

I looked at Niels whose attention was on his phone, it looks like he's texting someone. Well then, I'll just play 'Dumb Ways To Die' on my phone.

_15 minutes later of dying in very dumb ways..._

Okay, this is boring. I want to listen to some music...but I forgot my earphones! Fuuuuurrrck. Will Niels mind? Wait- I don't give a flying foot if it annoys him!

I scrolled through my playlist, turned the volume up and started listening to 'Troublemaker'.

Sure enough, I got Niels attention. Fufu~

"Oy! Turn your crappy music down! Your taste is about as good as pig shit!"

How could he hear that? He's like in the _faaar_ side of the cafeteria! About seventy-five metres away from me! And my phone is only half way up!

This guy's got super hearing. Yes, that's the only reason.

...

Okay, maybe he wasn't _seventy-five_ metres away...

"Shut up! I have good taste!"

"Like hell, you do!"

"This is a free country!"

"Turn it down or I'll shove your phone up your ass!"

"I dare you!"

"...Just change the song. Please. Assface."

What was that? I'm sorry, I may have some wax in my ear but was that really a 'please'? I smiled up at him, and this is the very first and the last time I will do that, and changed the song because it was very rare to hear him say something like that to me.

So...what kind of music does Niels like? Rock? He looks like it...

I decided to play 'Face down' by 'The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' and observed Niels reaction.

He lifted his head up from his phone and stared at me. Like, really _weirdly_. He stood up and started to walk towards me. OK, I think he doesn't like rock. Crap! He's gonna fucking murder me!

"N-Niels! I'll turn it o-"

"I love this song."

What now?

"I love this song, so I'm going to sit reasonably close to you."

And so he did. He sat reasonably close to me. About ten inches away, I think he could've sat farther but I guess he really likes this song.

"So you _love_ this song? You like Red Jumpsuit?"

"Yep, I love them."

Huh, I wonder what else we have in common... I should seriously ask! But before that, "Say you're sorry. Sorry for calling my taste pig shit."

"...I'm...I'-"

"Oh, and you have to say my name!"

His face instantly formed a disgusted expression. Wow, ouch. "If you don't, I'll tell people that you had a foursome with Ludwig, Kiku and that Ukraine girl with massive boobs. As you know, I have tons of friends and I'm photoshop savvy."

He pulled off an even disgusted look, gulped and tried his best with my command. "I'm sorry Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, for saying your taste in music is about as good as pig shit."

"You are spared."

He sighed with relief and went back to texting this mysterious person. Whose identity will be revealed right this moment!

"So, who are you texting?"

"None of your business."

I don't know what it was but he might have remembered my previous threat and decided to tell me anyway.

"It's my um... girlfriend."

Oh! Niels has girlfriend? And who is this girlfriend? She must be really interesting because no girl in our school has ever succeeded in sparking the love monster inside Niels.

...

That's right, Niels has a love monster inside him that's been very lonely for seventeen years, but not anymore! I have one too! Everyone does.

"So who's the girl?"

"I call her CJ. But of course, I won't tell you her name. It's way too beautiful."

"Oooh, Niels Abel can actually be a real sweetheart? Controversial!"

"Shut up Carriedo. You don't know anything about me."

"I know something."

"You don't know enough."

Well played... and with that, now I am a little bit curious. What if my mortal enemy and I had the potential to be closer than brothers? What if Niels is my _one_.

Pfft, yeah. Stop talking shit Antonio.

But let's try...

"So...what's your favourite colour Dutchy?"

"Blue. Don't call me that, I do have a name you know."

"Mine's red. Okay, okay, sorry. What's your favourite thing to eat in McDonalds?"

"The fries."

Same here! "Okay, do you prefer Vanilla or Chocolate?"

"Vanilla and what is this? Twenty questions?"

"If you want it to be..."

"...How much time do we have?"

"About forty minutes."

"Okay, bring it on."

But we have to lay on some ground rules or consequences, just to make it a bit more interesting. "We should have a punishment or something if you don't answer a question."

"Okay, if you pass the first time, you'll be slapped on the face. The second time you'll be kicked in the balls and since we hate each other, if you pass three or more times, we'll have to kiss."

...

Wait, is he subtly saying that he would want to kiss me. Oh...he is! This guy is totally after me.

"And if you're thinking that I'm going to pass three times just to kiss you, I won't. I'd rather be a leprechaun. And leprechauns don't exist."

Wow, this guy is just can't stop being offensive! He would seriously rather die than kiss me! What's wrong with me? Nothing! I'm damn sexy, thank you very much. Anyone would kill just to get some lip action with me!

Whatever, it's his loss.

_20 questions and 1 pass later..._

"Okay Antonio, it's your turn, and you didn't have to be so hard with that slap!" Niels said while rubbing his left cheek. I asked him if he's ever crossdressed before, because I really think he could pass of as a girl. In some angles, he looks like a woman.

...

Not that I ever observe and try to sink in his features or anything! No way.

Anyway, he decided to pass and you guessed it! I bitch slapped him so hard that I'm pretty sure his man boobs concaved.

"I did, I seriously did have to slap you like that."

"No you didn't."

"No, no, I'm pretty sure I just _had_ to."

"Fine, whatever. It's your turn to be asked anyway." Niels stared at me and at first I thought he was checking me out. But I realised he was probably only thinking of a question. Though let's face it, who wouldn't take a second to check me out.

Haha, I kid, I kid.

"On a scale of one to ten, how attractive do you think you are?"

"Nine. I don't want to seem uber confident."

I'm sexy but not conceited. Yeah.

"...You're a three. Okay, Would you rather shave your head for two days or dye it rainbow colour for a month?"

"...Hmm...Rainbow colour."

I'm one of those people who just shouldn't be bald. The universe would be unbalanced if I shaved my beautiful locks. It's just not right.

...

And I really love rainbows.

"Would you rather have all the tomatoes in the world or lose your two idiot bestfriends forever."

Ooohh... dilemma.

"I would pick my bestfriends and be idiots with them and all the tomatoes in the world."

"That's not one of the options."

"I'm pretty sure it is."

"No."

"Yes."

"Whatever, this counts as a pass."

Wait! No! Not my fa-

"GAAAAAAAAAAH! Fuuuurrrcckkk..."

I held my throbbing, red and possibly bleeding cheek in my hand, pressing my hand on it, hoping that this massive feeling of pain would disappear already.

...

Holy crap, it hurts so much I might cry! I can't! I can't cry in front of Niels!

Okay Antonio, your male pride is on the line. Keep those tears in! Keep 'em in! Don't! Don't cry! I feel a tear comin' out! DON'T YOU DARE! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!

...

SCREW MALE PRIDE!

"BWAAAAAA! BWAAAA! CRAAAAP! SHIIIIIT! IT HURTS!"

I cried. I fucking cried. Like a big manchild.

"Oi, don't be a baby and stop crying."

"B-but...I c-c-c-an't! You slapped m-me s-so ha-hard..."

"Oh c'mon, it wasn't that hard."

"It was! Your ha-hand is so b-big."

Niels sighed and moved closer to me, he got the hem of my shirt and started to wipe my tears away.

...

Whaaaaaaaat? What is happening here? I stood back with a flustered expression. I looked at Niels and he was also quite shocked by my sudden reaction.

I cleared my throat and said, "Th-thanks...I'm fine. I was only kidding."

Niels nodded and I sat back down.

"So my next question is...have you ever smoked before?"

"Uh...yes and no. I did shotgun smoking with Gilbert."

I must admit, it was a pretty hot experience. But I would never smoke a joint on my own

"You mean Gilbert Beilschmidt?"

"Hm? Yeah, he's one of my bestfriends."

"That guy's an ass. He's so full of himself, always saying his awesome. Awesome my ass..."

"He's only saying the truth."

Niels rolled his eyes and sat back with his arms folded. "Yeah right...Oh! Here's another question, have you ever thought of that guy as more than a friend?"

"Yeah, I've thought of him like a brother."

"No, you idiot. I mean sexually."

Gaahh...admittedly, I have. What? Gilbert is very handsome, in my defense. And you spend fifteen years with a guy like him, you're going to fall in love. I had a serious crush on him when I was fifteen, because Francis went back to France for a year and Gilbert was my only company. But unfortunately, Gilbert was a homophobic back then so I couldn't confess. It's too late now though, I only think of him as a best friend and all my thoughts of him are just sexual, nothing too personal.

But how could I ever admit that to Niels? It might seem like we're getting closer but I just know that he's going to give me even more trouble if he finds out I'm gay!

"No. Never."

Niels just stared at me, as if he was trying to see if I was lying. Crap! Can he read my thoughts?

"...You're lying."

"What? No!"

"Yeah, you are. I can tell."

"You're wrong! How could you possibly know I'm lying just by looking at me?"

"So you admit you are lying!"

Shit no! What's up with this guy? Does he really want to kick my balls that much?

"I'm going to say that's a pass. Stand up."

"W-wait! It's not a pass! It's not!"

Niels forced me up on my feet. Man, this guy is strong! Before I can even close up my legs and protect my kingdom, the catapult was already fired and down went the castle.

"Fuuuuuuuurrrccckk."

There goes my ability to make babies...

"Ahahaha! I enjoy this game."

I opened my eyes to see Niels lying beside me, he was poking his tongue out at me. This bastard.

I forced my body up but my hand was still pressed against my crotch. Shit, it hurts so much...this guy must be good at soccer...

...

Anyway, let's let time pass and get to the last question.

"Okay... have you ever watched gay porn?"

I didn't even concentrate on the question, as soon as I heard the word _gay_, I said, "Pass."

"Wait? Are you su-"

"Pass. Pass. Pass. Pass."

"Antonio, do you even realize that this is your third pass?"

"Pass. Pass. Pass."

"Hello? Are you even listening?"

"I don't want to answer Niels!"

"O-okay then, it's... kiss your mortal enemy time, I guess..."

**.**


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